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I'm a lucky SFG Woman

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I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  sanderson on 2/7/2014, 6:36 pm

This is totally irrelevant to SFG but I've been thinking about it. I told my husband the other night, that it was probably easier when the wife is the gardener than when the husband is the gardener.  Yes, we are of that age where we think, in general terms, that men and women may be equally important, but are generally different.  I was thinking of the little worms we bought a few days ago at a bait shop.  They were in the kitchen while I tenderly tried to revive them for a few days.  He didn't blink an eye at the squirmy things.  Plus me being a retired health inspector, if I have them in the kitchen, it must be safe.  Ditto when I carefully seed 6 trays and end up having to put them in the unused formal dining room under lights for a few rainy, cold days.

I'm especially lucky because my DH is who and what he is.  I have compressed and some fractured vertebrae, and he is always there for the heavy stuff.  Like building and placing the boxes where I want them.  Carrying the 5 gallon buckets of culls and trimmings for my compost piles even though he is slightly embarrassed.  Putting up with my hours in kitchen while I chop up the stuff.  Picking up the Starbucks bags (as long as I call ahead and reserve them for "Anderson."  Cutting or drilling metal conduits or worm tubes.  Carrying bags of cow manure at Lowes.  Moving heavy pots and potato buckets.  Building anything that I design (in clear terms and diagrams!!).  And totally non-gardening, he took allergy shots when he married me 22 years ago because I had 3 cats, and when they died, he continued taking shots because he knew I couldn't live forever without another stupid cat.  [Our current cat actually sleeps in her little bed on our bed.]

In turn, I always ask him if he could or would do such and such.  And when it might be needed.  And if something really bothers him, I ask him what about it bothers him and how could I change it.  Like MM in the house bothers him, so I try to get it outside ASAP. Or, where I originally wanted the new compost cage he built and he really, really didn't want it there, I agreed to another area that he said wouldn't bother him.

So this is a big thank you to the good mates, male or female, that put up with or help us nutty gardeners, all with a smile.

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Here, here quiltbea!

Post  Windmere on 2/7/2014, 9:24 pm

I got a chuckle from your post quiltbea.  My wife tolerated the initial expense of setting up my SFG.  She gets tickled when I say, "this organic tomato was free!!"  She grins and says, "No, it cost $600."  The ironic thing is that my wife bought the SFG book for me as a gift.  Now, of course, I could have spent less.  However, I am a perfectionist and my wife understands that about me.

Regardless, we've enjoyed a few nice fruits/vegetables this last season.  I even impressed her by successfully planting a winter garden.

Also, regarding the cats... well we have a similar situation and all three sleep on our bed.  I told my wife about your post at dinner tonight and she got a big kick out of it.

Thanks for your observations.  You're not alone, and your comments were delightful!

 Laughing

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  boffer on 2/7/2014, 9:30 pm

For a minute there I thought you were buttering up DH before you ask for a new car or a girls' trip to Vegas! yahoo 

@Windmere wrote:...Thanks for your observations.  You're not alone, and your comments were delightful!

+1

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  sanderson on 2/7/2014, 10:21 pm

Windmere, Quiltbea?? No, that was me, sanderson. The first year cost, I hear you. I have a small inheritance so it doesn't hurt our living budget. I just keep saying, thanks Mother. Plus, I search for freebies which is pure fun.

And Boffer, It's my husband who wants me to buy a new car. I have a really basic 1996 Toyota Avalon and I don't want to get rid of it. Why should I, the tape deck works fine!! If the tranny wasn't starting to vibrate, I would keep her another year or two. Here's the Ode I wrote, gosh, 15 years ago: [and this was before I hit the kamikaze buck at 2 am]

I love my car, oh, yes I do.
I love my car, so tried and true.
Zip and zoom,
Plenty of room,
I love my car, oh, yes I do!

And LV girl's weekend? . . pffft!



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OOPs I'm blushing!

Post  Windmere on 2/7/2014, 11:20 pm

Sanderson, I am so sorry.  I think I was looking at the column on the left and I got mixed up.  Oh dear, just further proof that I am losing my mind.  Perhaps I'll find it in the garden...

In any case, thanks for your post.  My family could really identify with it!

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  plantoid on 2/7/2014, 11:34 pm

Sanderson your hubby like many of us guys has learnt quickly that SWMBO ( she who must be obeyed ) rules the roost , so why the hell would he make you unhappy ...just so he could have a hard time.. that's self inflicted injuries in my book . Laughing  Laughing 

Seriously you & yours  seem to have what many don't have .. communication, consideration  and a sense of humour that allows you to laugh at yourself .
(It's nice to read about it as well .)

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  Marc Iverson on 2/8/2014, 1:00 am

As plantoid says, that's some lovely consideration you and your hubby have got going there. It takes a quality person to have consideration for others, especially by thinking about it in advance, or as a matter of course. Those are the keepers. Sounds like you two continue to earn love and respect for each other, which is so great! Nice post. We should all remember to remember to think about others.

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  audrey.jeanne.roberts on 2/8/2014, 1:15 am

LOVED this :-) I'm going to read it to my hubby, but he's watching the Olympics so I don't exactly think now would be the best time (one of those little "considerations," LOL!)

We are blessed with the same kind of relationship. He just smiles and says, "You want me to do WHAT?!" and then cheerful sees that it gets done.

We've had that same laughing conversation about our "free" veggies. Some day I'll break even!

This year I have doubled my space due to Back to Eden style gardens on my hillside. My plan is to plant it all and whatever we can't use will be donated to our church youth group to use to fund raise for their trips.

Is it spring yet?!!!

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  sanderson on 2/8/2014, 4:32 am

DH is in Lufkin, TX right now, visiting a son and his expanding family.  I read to him what I wrote and he said it wasn't too bad.   Very Happy   Not too gushy, he can live with it.  Embarassed

Marc,  We didn't start out this way.  We both had to change and we did.  As time went by, it got easier and easier, and then we really started to have good, solid fun.     Consider the other in every decision.  Admit when you are wrong.  Laugh and smile a lot, say thank you or it looks great or it's a good idea.  Any little thing that breeds a sense of well being in the other. Use the "pause button" often before you speak. Gosh, there's a whole list but it seems to come so easy.

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  floyd1440 on 2/8/2014, 6:24 am

Nice posts Sanderson but what is DH????????

 

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  camprn on 2/8/2014, 6:53 am

I sometimes wish I had some help you are indeed a lucky SFGardener Sanderson, to have such a dear husband (DH). What a Face 

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  Marc Iverson on 2/8/2014, 3:02 pm

@sanderson wrote:DH is in Lufkin, TX right now, visiting a son and his expanding family.  I read to him what I wrote and he said it wasn't too bad.   Very Happy   Not too gushy, he can live with it.  Embarassed

Marc,  We didn't start out this way.  We both had to change and we did.  As time went by, it got easier and easier, and then we really started to have good, solid fun.     Consider the other in every decision.  Admit when you are wrong.  Laugh and smile a lot, say thank you or it looks great or it's a good idea.  Any little thing that breeds a sense of well being in the other. Use the "pause button" often before you speak. Gosh, there's a whole list but it seems to come so easy.

"Think very hard before you say anything you can't take back" is one of my go-to rules for both stressful situations and casual conversation. It's amazing how easy it can be to let something thoughtless but hurtful slip out, or to forget that something you feel completely and authentically now may be just a bunch of hyped-up emotion and something you'd never dream of saying tomorrow. I think I've prevented a lot of disasters at the last moment by catching myself about to say something that I couldn't take back and that didn't really need to be said.

Also, "Don't get to thinking so hard about your own emotions that you forget anyone else has any." I think that's a common problem.

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  Kelejan on 2/9/2014, 2:27 am

What a delightful thread, and such nice people on this guest book.
My dear late DBH would be happy that I mix with such folk.  I love you 

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Who is the boss?

Post  Cuthbert on 5/13/2015, 9:15 pm

These posts are really great.  Love to hear of lasting relationships.  I just wanted all to know that at my house, I am the boss.  AND, I have permission to say so.

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  sanderson on 5/14/2015, 12:18 am

Laughing

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  AtlantaMarie on 5/14/2015, 2:14 pm

snicker...

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  Kelejan on 5/15/2015, 12:24 am

@Cuthbert wrote:These posts are really great.  Love to hear of lasting relationships.  I just wanted all to know that at my house, I am the boss.  AND, I have permission to say so.

glad you\'re here Cuthbert.  happy hi
I haven't seen you before so a belated welcome.  It's nice to know who is the boss. Very Happy

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

Post  AtlantaMarie on 5/15/2015, 9:01 am

I finally had the time to read this post all the way thru.  Yes, Sanderson, I totally agree w/ you - we're BOTH very blessed to have the DH's we have. 

It's taken a lot of effort to get us to where we are today, but now we're together almost 24/7 and work together really well.

Congratulations on picking the right guy!

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Re: I'm a lucky SFG Woman

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