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SFG's Funny Pages!!

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All in your mind ....no doubt about it.

Post  plantoid on 2/4/2012, 4:28 pm

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry: '9.'

Principal: 'What is6 x 6?'

Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal,'Let me ask him some questions.'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms.. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks:'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal was trembling.

Ms.. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the Teacher,'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong....'

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Re: SFG's Funny Pages!!

Post  squaredeal on 2/4/2012, 4:42 pm

Earlier this fall I carelessly left two Colts football tickets on the dashboard of my car. As Luck would have it, someone came by, smash my car window, and...











,,,left two more tickets.
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getting a description

Post  plantoid on 2/4/2012, 5:40 pm

A bruised and battered turtle crawls into a police station.
He says to the cop: "A gang of snails just beat me up!".
The cop says: "Did you get a good look at them?".
The turtle says: "Well, no, .................................



" It all happened so fast!"
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We don't have any vegetable jokes yet...

Post  jkahn2eb on 6/27/2012, 8:51 am

SO IF YOU DO, LETTUCE KNOW



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Re: SFG's Funny Pages!!

Post  RoOsTeR on 6/27/2012, 9:14 am

Sure we do. The Funny Pages are the only sticky in this forum. This post will be moved to the Funny Pages.

Funny post by the way Very Happy

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Re: SFG's Funny Pages!!

Post  jillintx on 6/27/2012, 9:47 am

What is Lassie's favorite vegetable?



Collie-flower
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Re: SFG's Funny Pages!!

Post  Yus on 6/27/2012, 3:35 pm

The elementary school cook prided herself on the healthy meals she provided with lots of vegetables and fruits. When the power failed one day, the cook couldn't serve a hot meal in the cafeteria, so at the last minute she whipped up great stacks of peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches.

As one little boy filled his plate, he said, "It's about time. At last -- a home-cooked meal!"
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Re: SFG's Funny Pages!!

Post  plantoid on 6/27/2012, 7:51 pm

How did the gardener repair his torn jean's



" With a cabbage patch of course ! "
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Re: SFG's Funny Pages!!

Post  plantoid on 6/27/2012, 7:56 pm

What did the idiot call his pet zebra ?






SPOT !
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Re: SFG's Funny Pages!!

Post  boffer on 8/4/2013, 1:58 pm

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Re: SFG's Funny Pages!!

Post  cheyannarach on 8/4/2013, 10:35 pm

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. It was Spring and he wanted to dig his tomato garden, as he had done every year, but it was very hard work for the aging man as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was currently in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If only you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son:
Dear Dad,
Not for nothing, but don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived at the old man's house and dug up the entire area. However, they didn't find any bodies, so they apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Vinnie
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Re: SFG's Funny Pages!!

Post  Triciasgarden on 8/5/2013, 12:59 am

rofl  rofl  rofl  This is the first time I have read all these!  Thank you for digging it up!
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Re: SFG's Funny Pages!!

Post  sanderson on 8/5/2013, 1:46 am

Good jokes that you can share with your family, which, of course, I promptly did!
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Re: SFG's Funny Pages!!

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